charmed life♥

the more you say those words... the more i get hurt... ...i have loved you... but we have to let go... things happen beyond our control...or by our own choice...or maybe it's destiny... we have to accept it... it's not a question... of loving... "i believe that once you've loved somebody... it'll always remain in your heart as long as you live....though it fades through time... but it's still there..." i still do... but we both know that we can't go on... each time i hear you say those words to me... i really try to ignore it... it's not that i don't... but that's how i really wanted to be...that's why you get no answer... if you only knew ... it breaks my heart ... more than you think...

i don't want to compete with anyone... or anybody in particular... but for the past few years i felt that some people even those who are close to me(friends)... tends to compete with me... one of my friends told me that maybe they just admire me that much that's why... they wanted to have whatever i have and do things that i usually do... in short... "hindi sila nagpapatalo sakin..." they always have something to say... about everything....she told me that i should be proud ... coz i am being looked up by them... but honestly i am not into this kind of competition.... what pains me is that... they're my friends...

Stone-cold, icy, bitter, cold-hearted...emotionless... I may look intimidating... strong on the outside... but i am not an ice princess. not as sweet as your typical girl next door... but i am not insensitive. i know i could not please everybody.... but its unfair if you're being judged in the way they see you not knowing the real person inside. I feel bad when they say i look very unapproachable and a person who's somebody not accomodating. but what can i do?! i tried to reach out to people... but its not that easy. (i look "richy-rich" daw accdg.to my friends) they still feel very aloof towards me. I can't blame them though... but i hope they wouldn't judge me as well. They say I'm "manhid"! Well, i guess i am...its case to case... sometimes i do it on purpose. So i won't get hurt. Honestly, i really have a hard time distinguishing "being nice" and "liking"... that's what my friend told me... if ever a guy sends his...

Today's October 9, 2006... its exactly 77 days before Christmas. Time really flies fast... we can now hear xmas carols over the radio, malls are now selling decors... "Pasko na naman"... Midnight sale...left and right, little children will now be very busy thinking of what gift they would ask for... carolers will now invade our doorsteps... Well, i just hope our xmas bonus will be given early (ha ha ha)... Christmas is a happy season... You can see smile on people's faces everywhere. When i was a child i remember... i used to believe in Santa Claus... (i think every kid believes in that) that we should be nice.. so he'll give us the present we wished for. Family gatherings, parties... feasting... But we should not also forget that... (some of us...does) its the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ.

It's Saturday ! This my fave day of the week (khit we have work)... Why, Saturday?! Well parang its the end of the whole week work and time to relax. Go malling or wherever you want to be--- just stay home perhaps. ha ha ha... a few years ago... i used to hear mass with my besprend during saturdays... and i stay with my lolo and lola's on saturday... well i miss that. now i just visit them bcoz of work. And most impt. walang coding kapag Saturday! ha ha ha....

UST Tigers bagged the UAAP 2006 Championship yesterday. I missed it, sayang. I was at the office when my cousin called me that they won the championship. I really wished i was there watching. Being so addicted to basketball and a UST alumni... grabe sayang talaga! But i am happy that they've won!

one of the so-so days... too much to do but was super lazy. the day is about to end but still i feel kinda "not so good". (haaay) maybe i was just tired. and to make me feel a lot better... the one thing i should do was write. this actually releases my tension, depression... i don't know na what to do if my pc's not around and most esp. i could not go online. i've read a friend's blog... and it really inspired me... well, if that happened to me. i'd do the same thing. and i admired him for what he's done! that only shows that money is not everything. it's the fulfillment on one's part. the things one could contribute to a group or organization. it's just sad that he had to move on and the other person who'd been.. the reason for all this...has to stay. but who knows...? there's nothing permanent in this world... everything changes... i hope soon... the management would open their eyes on what's really happening...

mahirap umasa sa wala... ...minsan pinipilit mo ang sarili na ikubli ang nararamdam ngunit kusa itong lumalabas... pigilan mo man. ...may mga tao na dumadating sa buhay mo na akala mo ay sya na ang inilaan sa iyo at ang iyong matagal nang hinihintay. ...mga pangyayari na akala mo ay totoo ngunit hindi pala. ...mahirap umasa sa isang bagay na hindi sigurado... ...mahirap umasa na mamahalin ka ng isang tao... ...mahirap umasa na hindi ka iiwan ng taong minahal mo. ...mahirap umasa dahil... masasaktan ka lang.