charmed life♥

they say... it was... well, i guess it is. there are things that are too hard to say... coz it might hurt somebody's feeling... or you just have no guts to say it... when you like someone... and you just don't know how to say it... "eh idaan mo na lang ... pabiro!" some of my friends say it works... maybe it worked for them... there are times when we really wanted to say something to people pro you find it hard ...to start... it maybe something serious ... or something you think would hurt somebody...but you knew that you should tell him/her... i guess its the best way to say it... "pabiro or joking" at least it'll be lighter... nde parang sobrang serious ang dating... and you'll be able to laugh about it then... unless... manhid yung other party... well that's another case. i got this text message from my cousin... and it gave me an idea... that yeah maybe jokes are half meant... she advised me to send this to someone that i've be...

i was supposed to be super happy today... seeing him yesterday should've made me feel like i'm walking on the clouds but...i don't feel that way... i lot of things have been bothering me... maybe now i am beginning to expect things....to happen... and i definitely know that it would not...even in my dreams. God knows i tried my best to control my emotions...feelings... i just hope i can still hold on to it... i knew from the very start that ...we'll only be friends... (not more than that!) but i am only human... i never really thought i would feel this way... it's a sin... to expect something "special" would happen...between us... and i hate to feel this way... because we're friends... we've been friends for quite some time... we're not that super close... but i feel that we treat each other special... he's really very nice and kinda...sweet at times... but there are instances that i feel... he avoids doing things for me...its like there...

falling in love... we don't know when we'll feel it... but once it hits our heart... that's the only time we'll realize... indeed it's a nice feeling being in love...

the more you say those words... the more i get hurt... ...i have loved you... but we have to let go... things happen beyond our control...or by our own choice...or maybe it's destiny... we have to accept it... it's not a question... of loving... "i believe that once you've loved somebody... it'll always remain in your heart as long as you live....though it fades through time... but it's still there..." i still do... but we both know that we can't go on... each time i hear you say those words to me... i really try to ignore it... it's not that i don't... but that's how i really wanted to be...that's why you get no answer... if you only knew ... it breaks my heart ... more than you think...

i don't want to compete with anyone... or anybody in particular... but for the past few years i felt that some people even those who are close to me(friends)... tends to compete with me... one of my friends told me that maybe they just admire me that much that's why... they wanted to have whatever i have and do things that i usually do... in short... "hindi sila nagpapatalo sakin..." they always have something to say... about everything....she told me that i should be proud ... coz i am being looked up by them... but honestly i am not into this kind of competition.... what pains me is that... they're my friends...

Stone-cold, icy, bitter, cold-hearted...emotionless... I may look intimidating... strong on the outside... but i am not an ice princess. not as sweet as your typical girl next door... but i am not insensitive. i know i could not please everybody.... but its unfair if you're being judged in the way they see you not knowing the real person inside. I feel bad when they say i look very unapproachable and a person who's somebody not accomodating. but what can i do?! i tried to reach out to people... but its not that easy. (i look "richy-rich" daw accdg.to my friends) they still feel very aloof towards me. I can't blame them though... but i hope they wouldn't judge me as well. They say I'm "manhid"! Well, i guess i am...its case to case... sometimes i do it on purpose. So i won't get hurt. Honestly, i really have a hard time distinguishing "being nice" and "liking"... that's what my friend told me... if ever a guy sends his...

Today's October 9, 2006... its exactly 77 days before Christmas. Time really flies fast... we can now hear xmas carols over the radio, malls are now selling decors... "Pasko na naman"... Midnight sale...left and right, little children will now be very busy thinking of what gift they would ask for... carolers will now invade our doorsteps... Well, i just hope our xmas bonus will be given early (ha ha ha)... Christmas is a happy season... You can see smile on people's faces everywhere. When i was a child i remember... i used to believe in Santa Claus... (i think every kid believes in that) that we should be nice.. so he'll give us the present we wished for. Family gatherings, parties... feasting... But we should not also forget that... (some of us...does) its the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ.