I am writing this as a tribute to my Tita Linda who has passed away last March. Honestly, I still can't believe that she's gone. On my mind, it's like that she is in her home... just chilling and watching her favorite videos, live streaming of mass on her iPad. And I am not sure if I could finish this without being emotional.
I did a eulogy on the last day of her wake.. But I felt it was too short... ("bitin") and I want to honor her more.
Who is my Tita Linda?
To her siblings and close relatives she's their "ATE Linda" (eldest sister)
To my cousins she's Tita..
To her friends - Linda...
To her PGH workmates she's Miss Santos...
To me I call her Tita but definitely she's my second mom. ( I am her loyal PA - personal assistant, sidekick, "dakilang alalay".. hihi)
For those who don't know, I grew up with her... I spent my school breaks, Christmas vacations, with her (and my grandparents). She always take me with her at PGH where she works, that is why most of her colleagues know me. I accompany her to the "palengke" (market) every Saturdays, go shopping with her Unimart, Rustans and SM Hypermart.
Perfectionist, meticulous and strict: some cannot stand it. Honestly, I can really handle it. I was not exempted from her moral lectures... but it has molded me of who I am today.
She's smart - An honor student in high school and an alumni of "Unibersidad ng Philipinas" (University of the Philippines). She loves reading, doing crossword puzzles, doing sudoku. She has a wide vocabulary.
She was super old-fashioned. You can always tell everyone... "Noong panahon namin hindi ganyan.." There are times that she does not want to embrace change... but when she realizes it... she gives in too.
I am a homemaker because of her... I learned how to sew (by hand and through the sewing machine), cook, bake, do household chores. She made sure I can bake a perfect Chiffon cake... Cook and create meals... Do table settings for every occasions.. I have developed my love for crafting and decorating because of her. (It felt really good when I get 2 thumbs up from her).
Her love for her family is unconditional... She would always tell me that aside from my grandparents, she also took care almost all of her siblings (from her down - she's the 2nd in the family but the eldest daughter). She's not that showy with her feelings, maybe because she was the eldest daughter - she needs to be tough but she is very caring and loving. She always ask me to check on family members how they are doing...
She is also very generous.. not just monetary but also with ideas. She loves sharing things she learned through the years.
She's a social butterfly - she loves family gatherings, reunions. I would cover for her for taking care of Lola whenever she attends meet ups with friends. There are also times I accompany her in attending get togethers.
She loves good food - Being a great cook, Tita (like most of us) is hard to please when it comes with food. She loves calamari, lechon kawali, barbeque and beef tapa. That's why whenever we dine out with her we look for a restaurant that serves good calamari.
She makes the best Kare Kare, Fruit Salad, Hamonado and her most famous "Puting Embutido". Actually all the food she prepares are delish but those are our all time favorites.
She taught me a lot about life...how to be strong in facing challenges, handling things and most especially saving and investing because I am also single... when I got older I realized she was right.
She's a strong, independent woman... I really wish I inherit those traits... I remember after her retirement from PGH she took care of my Lola who was 87 that time by herself. My Lola told me before she passed away - "Alagaan mo Tita mo."
She lived alone (for 14 years) in their ancestral home. Did every chore all by herself. I remember when she had her thyroid operation at 79, she was so brave to proceed with the operation. And her recovery was amazing. That is why during her last confinement I was hopeful that she will recover... but God called her home...
She loves dressing up, accessorizing... she always want to look pleasant to everyone. Like what Miss Emy shared on her eulogy. Maybe I got it from her though I don't like wearing lipstick (haha). During her confinement she would always tell me to fix myself and wear lippy. She told me nurses and doctors go in and out of the room, I should look presentable. I realized she's right, people normally treat you better if you look good and respectable.
There are times I also had disagreements with her especially when I am in perimenopause stage (and you know what that means - emotions are high), but I almost always don't answer back. Maybe that's why I always get her - rants. But I tried to endure...because I always remind myself of the "habilin" of my Lola.
Last few days with Tita... First 3 days in the hospital she is improving... until her oxygen started to drop, according to the doctors there's this particular bacteria that affected her, so they have to change her antibiotics. But to my observation the antibiotics was too strong that her body cannot handle. She was 89. She started having hallucinations... I would sit on her bed and tell her to pray with me and we prayed... I remember I told her a couple of times "Mahal kita Tita..gusto ko gumaling ka.. Kaya natin ito." And then I asked her "mahal mo ba ako?" She replied : "Oo" and I go - "Kaya pagaling ka kse mag - grocery pa tayo pagaling mo." She was discharged (hoping that she will recover faster at home) but after a few days at home she passed. It was her wish to go home... but I think she meant was going home to heaven.. I was really heartbroken when she passed... 54 years of being with her I realized it's not enough, but God called her... And I know that she's happy now with my grandparents.
Our last conversations:
March 1, Sunday: I asked her what food she wants - she said Beef Pochero, Picadillo and Beef Tapa. I went to the grocery to buy - I cooked the Beef Pochero that day marinated the beef tapa so she can have them on the next days. I even asked her - how to marinate the tapa and she taught me. Before I went to bed, I said good night to her she even waved her hand to Mochi and said "Good night."
March 2, Monday: Before I leave for work I went to her to tell her that I am leaving. She held my hand and told me "Umuwi ka ng 4pm" I replied : "Tita hanggang 5 ang office" and she goes "Alam ko nag office din naman ako. Basta umuwi ka agad." I said yes and told her that she can have the Beef tapa for lunch. Never did I know that... she will pass away that day. When I got the call at 12:45pm that Tita is not doing good I hurriedly went home... but when I got home she was gone.... I just embraced her so tight and whispered to her... "Thank you for everything Tita...Salamat salamat sa lahat... " I just regret not saying sorry to her.. for the times - I hurt her (I tried saying sorry on my quiet moments with her at the wake). I am glad that I was able to tell and show her how much I love her especially on her last days.
Her wake:
It was her request to be cremated. Since we are not really prepared that she's going... we don't have clothes prepared... I asked my sister to buy a beautiful Filipiniana so she will have a beautiful dress for her cremation... We chose a lovely urn for her ashes and an amazing floral arrangement for her wake. I want to give her the best send off... because she gave my grandparents the best love and care.
Final thoughts:
I want to thank everyone who showed the love to my Tita Linda. To: Cha, Ate O and Glenn for looking after Tita in the hospital... Tita Baby for sending caregivers for Tita when we brought her home and for the priests who held masses on her wake. Tita Uie and family (Endang, Jennie and Josh) for the love and support for Tita. Cecile for helping me arrange her wake and other documentations needed. Tita Malou and family, Sonny and family, Dino, and Valerie and family for the support. Tita Erma and family for the flowers. To Miss Emy from PGH for giving a heartwarming eulogy for Tita. For those who came and paid their last respects to Tita - "Maraming Salamat".
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