Monday, December 04, 2006

SOMEDAY

Have you heard Nina's new song...Someday composed by Nyoy Volante? It's really a very touching song... it's about realizing somebody else's worth...Taking for granted somebody's feelings... That even if you've been hurt by someone in the past. Soon you'll be able to move on and find the person who is meant for you.

SOMEDAY
Someday you're gonna realize
One day you'll see this through my eyes
By then I won't even be there
I'll be happy somewhere
Even if i cared
I know you don't really see my worth
You think you're the best guy on earth
Well I've got news for you
I know I'm not that strong
But it won't take long
Won't take long
Someday someone's gonna love me
The way i wanted you to need me
Someday someone's gonna take your place
One day I'll forget about you
You'll see i won't even miss you
Someday, someday...
Right now I know you can tell
I'm down and I'm not doing well
But one day these tears they will run dry
I won't have to cry, sweet goodbye...
I know someone's gonna be there...
Someday someone's gonna love me
The way i wanted you to need me
Someday someone's gonna take your place
One day i'll forget about you
You'll see i won't even miss you
Someday, someday...

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

jokes are half meant...

they say... it was... well, i guess it is.

there are things that are too hard to say... coz it might hurt somebody's feeling... or you just have no guts to say it...

when you like someone... and you just don't know how to say it... "eh idaan mo na lang ... pabiro!" some of my friends say it works... maybe it worked for them...

there are times when we really wanted to say something to people pro you find it hard ...to start... it maybe something serious ... or something you think would hurt somebody...but you knew that you should tell him/her... i guess its the best way to say it... "pabiro or joking" at least it'll be lighter... nde parang sobrang serious ang dating... and you'll be able to laugh about it then... unless... manhid yung other party... well that's another case.

i got this text message from my cousin... and it gave me an idea... that yeah maybe jokes are half meant... she advised me to send this to someone that i've been missing so much that... i have not guts to say it... (though i haven't send it yet) grabe...cool!

it goes like this...

"i miss you...
joke lang!
but jokes are half meant
cge na nga...
more than half...
hay...
oo na...
no joke...
miss na kita
sobra!"

Monday, November 06, 2006

...can't imagine this is happening....

i was supposed to be super happy today... seeing him yesterday should've made me feel like i'm walking on the clouds but...i don't feel that way... i lot of things have been bothering me... maybe now i am beginning to expect things....to happen... and i definitely know that it would not...even in my dreams. God knows i tried my best to control my emotions...feelings... i just hope i can still hold on to it... i knew from the very start that ...we'll only be friends... (not more than that!) but i am only human... i never really thought i would feel this way... it's a sin... to expect something "special" would happen...between us... and i hate to feel this way... because we're friends...
we've been friends for quite some time... we're not that super close... but i feel that we treat each other special... he's really very nice and kinda...sweet at times... but there are instances that i feel... he avoids doing things for me...its like there's a wall between us... but over-all we're ok.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

i just miss the feeling...

falling in love...

we don't know when we'll feel it...

but once it hits our heart...

that's the only time we'll realize... indeed it's a nice feeling

being in love...

Friday, October 27, 2006

no more i love you's...

the more you say those words... the more i get hurt...

...i have loved you... but we have to let go...

things happen beyond our control...or by our own choice...or maybe it's destiny...

we have to accept it...

it's not a question... of loving...

"i believe that once you've loved somebody... it'll always remain in your heart as long as you live....though it fades through time... but it's still there..."

i still do... but we both know that we can't go on...

each time i hear you say those words to me... i really try to ignore it... it's not that i don't... but that's how i really wanted to be...that's why you get no answer... if you only knew ... it breaks my heart... more than you think...

Saturday, October 21, 2006

friendly competition

i don't want to compete with anyone... or anybody in particular... but for the past few years i felt that some people even those who are close to me(friends)... tends to compete with me...
one of my friends told me that maybe they just admire me that much that's why... they wanted to have whatever i have and do things that i usually do... in short... "hindi sila nagpapatalo sakin..." they always have something to say... about everything....she told me that i should be proud ... coz i am being looked up by them... but honestly i am not into this kind of competition....

what pains me is that... they're my friends...

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

ICE PRINCESS

Stone-cold, icy, bitter, cold-hearted...emotionless...

I may look intimidating... strong on the outside... but i am not an ice princess. not as sweet as your typical girl next door... but i am not insensitive. i know i could not please everybody.... but its unfair if you're being judged in the way they see you not knowing the real person inside.
I feel bad when they say i look very unapproachable and a person who's somebody not accomodating. but what can i do?! i tried to reach out to people... but its not that easy. (i look "richy-rich" daw accdg.to my friends) they still feel very aloof towards me. I can't blame them though... but i hope they wouldn't judge me as well.
They say I'm "manhid"! Well, i guess i am...its case to case... sometimes i do it on purpose. So i won't get hurt. Honestly, i really have a hard time distinguishing "being nice" and "liking"... that's what my friend told me... if ever a guy sends his "i like u"signal ---> to me... Deadma daw ako! but frankly... i am not the kind of person who put meaning on things like this... i have a lot of... "what-if's" ... i am a little sigurista... its hard coz i have been through a situation before where ... all the while i thought the person likes me and he ended up telling everybody/my friends that i am hallucinating... was devastated when i've learned about it, that's why now... i am careful with my actions and feelings. i have learned a lot from that experience... that's why... unless a guy directly tells me that he likes me... i won't believe what my instincts tell me... I'll never forgive myself if i commit the same mistake again.."Mahirap na ulit magkamali"...

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

"kamag-anak incorporated"

i am the kind of person... who is not afraid of saying what i feel. it's hard to be in a place or situation where your actions are limited.

in my work place, being employed in a family owned corporation and being one of the so-called "kamag-anak incorporated"... people would say that i am lucky to be a part of this organization...i guess i was in a way. bcoz i gain "RESPECT" from those around me... but when you're stuck in the situation i'm in... all you can say is it's unfair! i cannot express my views on matters concerning their policies especially if they're beyond my principles... "Utang na loob" of hiring you...

honestly, i really don't like the idea of working here... my mom just forced me when i graduated BSC Major in Accounting in 1992 bcoz his cousin (my uncle) told her that they need an accounting staff very badly. it was so hard for me to accept i even quarreled with my mom since i don't want people to think that i was hired by the company not bcoz of my capabilities but bcoz i am a relative. i told my mom that i've graduated from a prestigious university (UST) and i know that i am competent enough to find myself a good paying job in other companies. and i am quite aware of the consequences i have to face when i accept to work for them. my lola (my dad's nanay) persuaded me to accept... i cried... but since i respect my lola (grew up with her) a lot and for her i reconsidered. (but i insisted of taking the exam and interview-don't want to be given special treatment here).

it was not an easy journey... there are a couple of gossips... intrigues that came along the way... being a newly grad ... "napakahirap"... my co-employees look at me from head to toe. i cried almost everyday when i get home from work. in the first few months i really wanted to give up. but my ate... told me that if i'd do that... i'll just show them that i am weak. from there i know i have to prove them wrong!

i have learned to love the work they gave me... cost accounting/costing. i have been handling it for 13 years already. honestly there is no problem with the work i handle and my co-workers now, but the situation i am in. there are things i wanted to say or point out but i can't. there are policies that i don't agree but i am not in the position to site my views. i know what will happen... i should side with the management....bcoz i am a "full-pledged kamag-anak! now i am doing a lot of thinking if i should stay. i know it took me 13 years... and there are a lot of things to be considered. esp. now its hard to find a descent job this days. but i hope i can hold on to this. they expect so much from me to the point that sometimes... i wanted to give up! (that is., giving me extra work aside from what i am assigned to me... and i have no choice...but to follow....haaay)

i just want the people to know that ... i don't use my "pagiging kamag-anak" in the office.... i don't ask special favors for myself...i know a lot of people would not believe this.. but its not my cup of tea... i want to work hard and be acknowledged bcoz of my ability.
a lot of people approach me for help and if they have favors to ask from the management... i tried to help in the best way i can...

Monday, October 09, 2006

it's almost Christmas...

Today's October 9, 2006... its exactly 77 days before Christmas.

Time really flies fast... we can now hear xmas carols over the radio, malls are now selling decors... "Pasko na naman"... Midnight sale...left and right, little children will now be very busy thinking of what gift they would ask for... carolers will now invade our doorsteps... Well, i just hope our xmas bonus will be given early (ha ha ha)...

Christmas is a happy season... You can see smile on people's faces everywhere. When i was a child i remember... i used to believe in Santa Claus... (i think every kid believes in that) that we should be nice.. so he'll give us the present we wished for. Family gatherings, parties... feasting...
But we should not also forget that... (some of us...does) its the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Saturday, October 07, 2006

SATURDAY!!! my fave day...

It's Saturday! This my fave day of the week (khit we have work)...

Why, Saturday?!

Well parang its the end of the whole week work and time to relax. Go malling or wherever you want to be--- just stay home perhaps. ha ha ha... a few years ago... i used to hear mass with my besprend during saturdays... and i stay with my lolo and lola's on saturday... well i miss that. now i just visit them bcoz of work.

And most impt. walang coding kapag Saturday! ha ha ha....

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

HOORAY!!! for the TIGERS!!!

UST Tigers bagged the UAAP 2006 Championship yesterday. I missed it, sayang.

I was at the office when my cousin called me that they won the championship. I really wished i was there watching. Being so addicted to basketball and a UST alumni... grabe sayang talaga!

But i am happy that they've won!

so-so day...

one of the so-so days... too much to do but was super lazy. the day is about to end but still i feel kinda "not so good". (haaay)

maybe i was just tried.

and to make me feel a lot better... the one thing i should do was write. this actually releases my tension, depression... i don't know na what to do if my pc's not around and most esp. i could not go online.

i've read a friend's blog... and it really inspired me... well, if that happened to me. i'd do the same thing. and i admired him for what he's done! that only shows that money is not everything. it's the fulfillment on one's part. the things one could contribute to a group or organization. it's just sad that he had to move on and the other person who'd been.. the reason for all this...has to stay. but who knows...? there's nothing permanent in this world... everything changes... i hope soon... the management would open their eyes on what's really happening...

Monday, October 02, 2006

di na aasa pang muli...

mahirap umasa sa wala...

...minsan pinipilit mo ang sarili na ikubli ang nararamdam
ngunit kusa itong lumalabas... pigilan mo man.

...may mga tao na dumadating sa buhay mo na akala
mo ay sya na ang inilaan sa iyo at ang iyong matagal nang hinihintay.

...mga pangyayari na akala mo ay totoo ngunit hindi pala.

...mahirap umasa sa isang bagay na hindi sigurado...
...mahirap umasa na mamahalin ka ng isang tao...
...mahirap umasa na hindi ka iiwan ng taong minahal mo.
...mahirap umasa dahil... masasaktan ka lang.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

i can't say goodbye to you...

it's hard to say goodbye to someone you've learned to love....
for all the good and bad times you've shared that you've both made it through...
but there are circumstances in our lives that we can't control.

it's not a question of love...

but...

doing what is right...

eventhough it's hard... we should try.

in my heart i know... you will always be there...

now and until forever...

Monday, September 25, 2006

fashion notebook....1

though in Manila we only have 2 seasons... unlike in other countries who have 4... Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall. Most of the things we could see on most stores, boutiques and even in websites are those for fall/autumn season. Well here are some of the must-haves... which can run up to the winter... (sa Manila walang nito so this could run til the cool months of Nov., Dec up to Feb).

Must-haves... What's in?!

  • over-sized jackets and tops
  • big belts
  • skinny jeans/pants, leggings

More of the 80's look this time... mini-skirts with leggings underneath it. short-shorts... rockstar shirts with big belts in metallic color.

Colors this season... Navy Blues, black and white (which is usually for all-season), red (esp belts and shoes)...

Accessorize - mostly Gold... but you can also done away with silver. depends on your skin tone. Chains are in... Chandelier and loop earrings...

Sunnies/Eyewear - Oversized... aviators...

Bags - Totes, big bags, woven... oversized... in striking colors....

But seriously, you can create your own style... so you can stand out. you shouldn't follow what's really "in" the fashion scene... as long as you are comfortable in what you are wearing and carry yourself well which is the most important factor...

If you feel beautiful... You'll surely look BEAUTIFUL!

Go, UST TIGERS!!!

Heroes are made, not born.
And this time, a young team
proved that they are HEROES in the making...

a team IGNORED by many...

a team unexpected to RISE...

a team that is destined to GROWL ONCE MORE...

it's OUR TEAM!

We're on for the Championship...
Let's pray for the TIGERS!!!

what i really wanted to be...

i really love art! colors, structures... i wanted to be an designer. when we're young we're really confused on what to take up in college... careers we want to pursue. i found myself ending up in accounting. but honestly i have learned to love my job and career path i took. but of course, there is something i really wanted to do...

i love clothes.... fashion... anything that is quite connected with it. as well as, home/interior designing.

that is why, i love collecting fashion magazines and catalogues... in order to update myself on what's the latest. honestly, there are some of my friends/relatives whom i've helped... in changing their image... well i can say, i'm kinda successful naman. which makes me feel a bit proud of myself that my style is being noticed by other people.

in our new home, we didn't hire a designer for it. together with my brother we we're the one's who put together the stuff in the house. but of course, i have the final say. and they love it. some of our relatives who came thought that we hired an interior designer and they we're amazed of the things they saw sa bahay.

in a way, i'm fulfilled na din though i didn't have formal classes about designing. at least i know i'm gifted with the talent.
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